Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Randomize
