i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
