I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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