imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
