I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
