Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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