i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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