Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
