just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
