it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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