Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Gay?
German.
Pity.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
