I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
