Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
