Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
