Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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