is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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