I bet he comes in French.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
