anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
