week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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