you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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