i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
