weddingsv make me drug and hornr
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
