It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
