did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
