if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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