Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
