we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
