She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
