We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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