Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm always down for nudity.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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