Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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