**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
