After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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