Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
