wakey wakey hands off snakey
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
