Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
This baby is an asshole
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
