fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
