We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
