do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
