there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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