i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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