YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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