the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
