Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
