she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
