if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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