I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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