My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
