So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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