i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
