So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
ttyl tear gas
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
