You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
