If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
