im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm at about main and main street
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
