I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
