Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
